Lately liberals—particularly those on the Internet—have been in an uproar about some anti-gay comments made by the president of Chick-Fil-A. Most have been calling for a boycott of the food chain; the mayors of Boston and Chicago have even suggested they won’t permit Chick-Fil-A to open up new franchises in their cities. In other words, the comments have created a veritable shitstorm.

Let me tell you about my experience with Chick-Fil-A. When I lived in Virginia, there was a Chick-Fil-A within walking distance of my apartment. My roommates and I always went grocery shopping on Monday; by Sunday afternoon, we were generally out of food, so Sunday evening meant a journey to a fast food restaurant. But Chick-Fil-A is always closed on Sundays, so I never went there. To date, I have never been to a Chick-Fil-A.

I’m always ahead of the curve with online protest movements. Remember when the Internet was protesting GoDaddy’s involvement with SOPA? Well, guess what? I haven’t been registering domains with GoDaddy since at least 2004.

I’ve also never eaten at a Little Caesar’s, but unlike Chick-Fil-A, I actually have plans to do so. In fact, “eating at Little Caesar’s” is Item Number One on my bucket list. I was intrigued by their commercials of the late eighties, but my family was too dirt poor for frivolous things like ordering pizza. I didn’t even know the chain still existed until I got to New York, but the city’s lousy with them. I hear the pizza’s terrible, but my life won’t be complete until I eat there.

I’m also put off by the hidden Bible messages in Chick-Fil-A’s packaging. If I wanted to hear a tidbit about the Bible before every meal, I’d have dinner at my grandma’s.