September 14th 2008 What Would Kurt Cobain Endorse?

Yesterday I went to a barbeque. One of the other guests had brought some chips which he proudly told me was endorsed by none other than Tim McGraw himself. I had to admit that the chips were pretty good. Tim McGraw might lend his name to some pretty terrible albums, but at least I can rest easy in the knowledge that he’s a man who knows a good chip when he sees one. If I had such a talent, I wouldn’t shy from putting my name—and face—on a bag of chips, either.

But this celebrity endorsement raised a serious question: Given the chance, what type of food would musicians in other genres endorse? For example, what would a rapper endorse? Or a grunge rocker? On what would Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vedder put their faces?

This question was of serious concern because the gentleman who had brought the potato chips was old enough to still remember the grunge “revolution” and thus greatly enjoyed this genre of music. Given the anti-corporate mindset of the grunge rock movement, he felt that no self-respecting grunge musician would attach his name to any corporate product, but eventually we determined that if a grunge rocker like, say, Eddie Vedder, had to endorse a foodstuff, he’d probably endorse sunflower seeds. Coffee was a close second, but coffee was “too obvious”, given the Seattle thing.

I suggested that a rapper might endorse popsicles. I couldn’t really give a decent explanation as to why I felt that way; for some reason, I just associate popsicles with rap music. But it was agreed that popsicles were a good choice for a rapper, maybe because they’re a delicious treat that can easily be found in the “hood”. My friend Andrew suggested that a rapper might endorse something “simpler” like a sandwich. But you can’t really endorse a sandwich, can you? I mean, there’s no company that just makes “a sandwich”. Right?

If there is, that’d that be great, because I love sandwiches.