I logged into Facebook this morning, and was greeted by this:

That’s right—two back-to-back breakups! Thanks, Facebook. That’s just what I want to read in the morning: really sad news. You’re such a downer.

That’s the thing about Facebook: sure, it’s nice to keep in touch with people, but sometimes Facebook gives me too much information, and ends up making me frown or ruining some nice surprise. Case in point: in the past several months, I’ve heard about the engagements of no less than three couples (all of them close friends of mine) via Facebook first. That’s kind of…lame.

I’m actually kind of worried where Facebook is taking this “news feed” mumbo-jumbo. Okay, ruining the surprise of a wedding is strictly less than fun, but I guess I can tolerate that. But what happens in ten or fifteen years, when my Facebook friends get divorced? I’m going to log in to Facebook and see news messages like this:

When that happens, I’m leaving Facebook forever.