April 25th 2006 I Can’t Wear Them If They’re Wrinkled

I could go on and on for hours about the weird perceptions of fashion on American college campuses, especially at Bucknell University, but there’s one particular fashion statement that sticks out at me. I often walk around campus and see young men dressed in a nice Oxford shirt, blazer, matching tie—and cutoff khaki shorts. One time I even saw a guy with the shirt-tie-blazer getup wearing sweatpants. I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone can think that such attire looks good. I’m not exactly the most fashionable guy around, but even I know that looks ridiculous.

But today it occurred to me that these young men might be lacking something other than fashion sense: an iron.

Think about it: You want to dress nicely to go to class (an admirable notion), but you can’t look good if you’re wearing wrinkled pants. So you get the idea to iron your wrinkled Dockers. But, alas, you live in a dorm room, and you don’t have room for an iron and an ironing board. You have no way to iron your pants. You can’t wear wrinkled pants with the shirt-tie-blazer outfit, so you go for the next best thing: Your most comfortable pair of cutoff khaki shorts (or sweatpants, as the case may be).

Makes sense, no?

No idea yet on how that same idea relates to girls wearing miniskirts and rain boots, but I think I might be on to something.