I really like cereal. Given the option, I’d probably eat cereal for nearly every meal. This might sound boring to some, but there are just so many kinds of cereal out there that I’d probably never get bored of it. Plus it’s nutritious. And you drink milk with it. And milk has protein. Protein is really good for you because it builds muscle, and I certainly could use some more of that.

The thing is, cereal is hard to come by at Bucknell—especially since I haven’t had any milk lately to finish off my box of delicious Honey Nut Cheerios, part of this balanced breakfast. There used to be cereal in The Bison, or Der Bison, or Das Bison, or whatever the hell it is, but they don’t have cereal there anymore. The only place to get cereal is the cafeteria, which presents a problem: a lunch costs $7.00, and dinner costs $8.25, or $6.25 after 8:00 PM. Now, I usually consume two bowls of cereal per meal. That means that at lunch I am paying $3.50 for a bowl of cereal, and at dinner, $3.13 (I usually eat after 8:00 PM, or 20.00 Uhr for our German brethren). That seems a bit excessive. $7.00 is certainly a fair price for those people who have four or five plates of food, but I’m a little guy and I don’t eat that much, and $7.00 just seems too pricey for a couple of bowls of cereal; thus, I usually end up eating in the Bison, which is greasy and not always that good, but better than getting totally ripped off (they have good quesadillas and sandwiches, at least). But I want my cereal, and I think Parkhurst should offer cereal in the Bison again.

I have, however, splurged a few times and gone to the caf just for cereal, even though it’s a rip-off. But don’t worry, I’ve gotten my sweet, sweet revenge. I get apples, too. And you know how you’re only supposed to take one with you from the cafeteria? Yeah…I take two or three. Yeah. And some bagels, too. Take that, Parkhurst!