Tonight, while searching the Bucknell Online Directory for a professor in the Foreign Language department, I came across an entry for a retired professor named Robert Beard. Naturally I had to click on his entry to see if he did, in fact, have a beard, and lo and behold, he does. At first I thought, That’s quite the coincidence that a guy with the last name “Beard” has a beard, but then I realized that if you were a guy with the last name Beard, you’d pretty much have to have a beard, in order to avoid jokes about how your last name was Beard but you were clean-shaven.