In its second of hopefully many more interviews with famous faces, Monkey Robot has been lucky enough to have a sit-down with the one and only Sean Kelton of Bucknell University. Sean is well on his way to achieving his summer goal of 1000 spider solitaire wins, having won 981 games to date. He took a break from his race to success to talk to us about solitaire, life, and schnapps.

1. Monkey Robot: Nineteen away from your goal—how do you feel about that?

   Sean Kelton: I have mixed emotions. I’m glad to almost be there, but i’m going to miss spider solitaire when I’m done. I’ve decided to retire completely once I reach 1000 wins.

2. So this is really the end? No more spider solitaire in Sean’s future after 1000?

   Yep.

3. This isn’t a “Michael Jordan-I’m-retiring-from-basketball” proclamation, is it?

   No, I’m going to make a vow with my right hand on the Holy Bible.

4. Has your spider solitaire success inspired you in other areas?

   Spider solitaire? If anything, it’s taken away from other areas—consumed my life like a cancer.

5. Have you neglected friends, family, and work in achieving your goal?

   Yes, it’s definitely hurt my social life.

6. Did you recklessly turn down fine women in your pursuit of Spider Solitaire nirvana?

   Eh, well, there were never any fine women in the first place, but if there were I might have.

7. Some would say that fine women come and go, but 1000 spider solitaire wins transcend both time and space. Would you agree?

   Yes, this sort of thing happens only to a few well-deserved, driven individuals.

8. Sean, I understand you had some trouble last Houseparty Weekend, and that begs the question—what’s your drink of choice?

   I can tell you one thing I’ll never drink again.

9. What’s that?

   Apple schnapps.

10. Which leads us to the final question, Sean. Top or bottom?

    Well, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say bottom.

11. Well, Sean, the people and I thank you for your time, and good luck on your climb to spider solitaire success.

    Thanks.