April 26th 2005 What Do We Want? Change Machines! When Do We Want Them? Now!
Well, it’s that time of the year again–time for Bucknell Student Government elections. And the candidates are certainly out in force this week. Two young women stopped by my room yesterday requesting votes and bribing me with Tootsie Rolls, and some guy was seen roaming the halls of Vedder 2 West, trolling for votes. The platforms are mostly the same: “Keep guns out of the hands of Public Safety! Let us drink with impunity!” and so on and so forth. I’m not too concerned about those issues. The issue that concerns me the most is change machines in the laundry room. I’m sick of walking all over campus to get quarters to do my laundry. If some candidate would run on a platform of change machines in laundry rooms, she’d have my vote in a heartbeat, by God. So take note, candidates: this is the issue that matters. This is the defining issue of this election. I don’t care about refining the alcohol points system or taking away Public Safety’s power to keep the peace. I just want change machines in the laundry room, damn it.