Since moving into a dormitory, I’ve learned a lot of things I didn’t know before. One such thing I’ve learned is that girls squeal. A lot. I’m not sure why this is. The only thing I can fathom is that some girls are attention whores and just want people to pay attention to them. Some girls must also think that other people like to hear them squeal. All I know is that a lot of girls who live around me squeal all the time. They squeal when they are mad, sad, scared, happy–well, for most anything, really. And it’s pretty damn annoying.

Squealing doesn’t seem to be something guys do. Sure, some guys yell, or otherwise make a lot of noise, but it’s not as annoying as the squealing. I don’t mean to sound sexist in my assessment of squealing; self-collected evidence shows that it’s primarily girls who do the squealing (and “primarily” is a nice way of saying “only”).

So girls, I don’t mean to sound rude, but please: shut the hell up. For the good of the community as a whole. When I am laying in my room trying to nap, I don’t need to know your emotional status at any random moment. I just want to sleep.