Today was the first snow of the season. I woke up at 9:30 and, as usual, immediately checked the weather forecasting program on my computer; it read 36° with a mixture of snow and sleet. I looked out my window. Sure enough, a thin blanket of snow covered Smith Quad.

Snow makes me giddy for some reason. I’m not sure why, because I don’t particularly enjoy playing in it, actually, and I don’t partake in many snow-related sports. It is, however, calming to watch it softly fall to the ground, and relaxing to walk in. Somehow, it makes me feel peaceful, protected, and more at ease.

Of course, the snow/sleet quickly turned to rain, which just made things wet. Accentuating this effect was the fact that both my pairs of shoes have holes worn straight through the heel; thus, my feet get soaked when I have to walk places that are wet. I really do believe that I should get a new pair of shoes, but with the holidays and my dad’s birthday coming up, I don’t really feel like buying a new pair.

Let me tell you a bit about my shoes. The shoes I am currently wearing are a pair of Vans that I got around the beginning of eighth grade (that would be five years ago). They cost me $50—kind of pricey, but they’ve held up very well. I really like them. They’re pretty waterproof, save for the holes in the sole.

The other pair of shoes I have are a cheap no-name brand I bought at Payless Shoes a year and a half ago. They cost me $20, but wore out within the first year of use.

Moral of the story? You have to walk on your feet all day—it’s not worth it doing it in cheap shoes that wear out in a year.

Unfortunately, I don’t feel like spending $50 or $60 on a new pair of shoes. That’s where you, the Monkey Robot reader, come in. I’m grateful for all my readers, and I don’t expect anything from them, except their undying love and support, but I also know that many Monkey Robot fans have been asking themselves, “I really feel like giving something back to Michael. I wonder what he wants for Christmas?” Well, here’s the answer to your question: I want a new pair of shoes! However, I know that you cannot afford shoes anymore than I can, especially for me. So all I ask is a donation of a dollar or so—even just some spare change—to my Get Michael a New Pair of Shoes Fund. All you need to do is stick a few quarters or a dollar bill and mail the envelope to the following address:

Michael Dippery
Bucknell University
701 Moore Avenue Unit C0206
Lewisburg, PA 17837-2080

And as a special limited-time bonus, male donors of over $1 get a handshake and a pat on the back, and female donors of over $1 get a peck on the cheek. Donors of over $5 get a free home-cooked meal and film viewing in my basement.

Disclaimer: The Get Michael a New Pair of Shoes Fund is not a not-for-profit charity organization or affiliated with the church in any way, shape, or form. Your donation of any amount is not tax-deductible. It is merely a fund to help a college student keep his feet dry.

In other news, I am doing great, thanks for asking. I had an awesome weekend. I saw the free director’s cut of Donnie Darko at The Campus Theatre on Saturday night. It was wonderful. And at the recommendation of my friend Amanda, I watched Wet Hot American Summer on Friday. Great film! (Of course it was, though, because Amanda has great taste in cinema.) It was a great movie-watching weekend and a great weekend in general. Yay for awesome films and awesome people and awesome weekends!